no, he came in my armpit
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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