Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize