I'm going to jail i love you
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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