i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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