My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize