Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
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I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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