There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
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you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
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you are never too drunk for berry picking
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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