I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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