Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize