Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize