Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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