I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize