when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
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Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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