You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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