I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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