For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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