I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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