I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize