CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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