The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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