dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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