12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
