the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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