i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize