There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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