Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.

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(210): View more from Texas

Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(239): View more from Florida

And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies

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(904): View more from Florida

Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love

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