so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
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Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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