Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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