He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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