apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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