After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize