Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
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I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
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I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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