The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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