If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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