giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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