what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
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I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm at about main and main street
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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