I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
thus making me awesome and them whores
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize