Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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