I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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