okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
