I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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