i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize