Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize