What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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