suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
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Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
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Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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