the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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