he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize