had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize