its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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