I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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