He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
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