It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
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I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
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Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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