Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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