My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
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Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
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I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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